Mending Broken Relationships

How To Avoid Two Big Mistakes When Trying To Win Back An Ex

2009-07-13T14:46:00.002-04:00

If you have tried just about everything to win back an ex and nothing seems to work, you are probably making two very common, but fatal mistakes. The first mistake involves power and the second is about plain old ignorance. You really don't know what you should and shouldn't do in the situation.

You see, when you get dumped, your ex becomes powerful over you. This is especially true if they know that you want them back and will do anything to accomplish it. Sometimes it becomes a game that they tend to enjoy. They laugh as you grovel around trying to please their every demand.

To win back an ex you need to remain cool and collected. Don't let them know that you want them back. Keep it to yourself. If you think that you are about to be dumped by your partner, and they come to you and say that they want to break up with you, then simply agree to the break up and do not let them on to the fact that you really want them to stay.

After you are seperated, keep busy and do not think about your relationship. If they try and contact you, do not get all excited, remain calm and be very brief. Let them know that you have other plans and cannot be available for them.

Now staying away from someone that you really love deep down inside is not easy. Most of us just can't do it. We think that if we fall all over them, they will see us as someone that they need. We think that we can prove our love by how dedicated and willing we are to cater to their every whim. What happens though, is that they get tired of us coming around and calling all the time or they start to take advantage of us and then have power over us.

If you do the opposite and can actually stay away from them and do what I have told you, you will become powerful and gain the upper hand over your ex. This will put you in control and give you the advantage that you need in order to win back an ex.

Use Your Head, Not Your Heart If You Want To Win Back Love

2009-07-07T13:45:00.002-04:00

If you really want to win back love, then you must stop allowing your heart to dictate what to do and start using your head. Leaving it up to your heart will only serve to get you in deeper trouble and going in the wrong direction.

Your heart is probably telling you to go after your ex and persue them to no end. If you go after them and try to force them to listen to you, then they will have to come back, right? Wrong! Nothing could be farther from the truth. By doing that, you will only cause them to want to call the police, for heaven's sake and get as far away from you as they can!

If, on the other hand, you listened to your head, it would probably say to give your ex some space. It would tell you that if you want to win back love, you need to leave them alone and take time out from eachother.

So, which one sounds better? If you said your head is smarter than your heart, then you would be 100% right. You need to stay away at this point and make no contact whatsoever. You see, by trying to persuade them to come back and see the error of their ways, you will come across as desperate and needy. Your ex will want nothing to do with you and will run for the hills. On the other hand, by staying away, your ex will start to wonder where you are and what you are doing. You will cause them to want to contact you!

Another thing you will have to realize is, if through the years you have become dependent on your ex, you will need to find alternative sources to lean on. Try and deal with things on your own. If they were the ones that always dealt with repair issues on your car, you will need to do that on your own. If you don't know how to prepair a certain meal, then learn how. By becoming dependent, you will become more worthy and your ex will look up to you.

In the end, in order to win back love, you must learn to be calm and rationale. You can't let the fires of your heart, rule over what you know is right in your head. If you do, you will only be heading for disaster. By being sensable and logical, you can be very successful and win back love.

A Proven Plan To Win Back An Ex

2009-07-01T14:39:00.002-04:00

If you have just gone through a breakup either in a dating or marriage relationship and are still in love with them, the first thing you want to do is try and win back an ex and start over. The biggest problem comes when panic sets in and you don't know where to start so you try to call or text them a hundred times a day, send expensive gifts and beg and plead with them to come back. This tends to backfire big time and only pushes them farther away.

Seeming desperate only makes you less desirable to your ex and is a big turn-off. What you need to do is calm down, take a deep breath and slow down. Instead of rushing off and doing something stupid that you will regret later, take time to relax and bring your mind to a more rational and peaceful mental state.

The goal at this point is to get you thinking about yourself and not your ex. In order to win back an ex, you must first build your self-esteem and confidence so that you will be attractive and desirable to your ex once again. Get out and have some fun. Even if you don't feel like leaving the house, you will be amazed at how good you will feel once you get your mind set on other things.

Taking care of your body is also something you should concentrate on right now. Maybe you have let yourself go and now would be a great time to start getting into shape so you can look and feel good again. Anything that gets you up and moving and that can be done on a regular basis will do wonders for your body and soul.

One last thing to mention is not to overdo it when eating or drinking. Although food and drink can bring temporary comfort, you will only feel worse if you gain lots of weight or wake up with a hangover. It's best to control what you eat and try to avoid alcohol as much as possible.

By doing these things and concentrating on making yourself a better person, you have a definite plan to win back an ex and get back the love you want.

I Still Love My Ex - What Should I Do?

2009-05-27T14:37:00.002-04:00

If you have recently broken off a relationship, but find yourself saying, "I still love my ex", you will need to decide what it is you would like to happen next. Most relationships, even bad ones, end with one or both people still feeling like they still love their ex. Love between two people is not easily forgotten. You have shared a special closeness and bond with eachother. Does that mean that you should get back together?

The words, "I still love my ex", could mean that there may still be a spark or lingering feelings that you have for the other person. Love is a gift that isn't always so easily broken. You both have shared many memories and special times together. This doesn't necessarily mean that the other person feels the same way. Sometimes things are not ment to be and just because you think you still have feelings, you really need to ask yourself if you want to get back with your ex.

Sometimes the words, "I still love my ex" really mean that you are still fond of them and care about them but are not "in love" with them. Have you ever heard the saying "if you love something set it free and if it comes back to you it was ment to be, but if it doesn't, it never was"? This is what you will need to do. Do not try and push the relationship in one direction or another. Let it take a natural course and if things were ment to be, lots of times it will go that way on it's own.

If you truelly love your ex and the words "I still love my ex" means that you want to try and get back with them, then you will need to understand that it will take a little work to make it happen. Even then, sometimes things just don't work out. If you are willing to try though, first do what I said in the above paragraph. Let it take a natural course. If the feeling is mutual, you will know pretty quickly.

If you were in either a failed marriage or long term relationship, you should both seek counseling. By talking with a professional you will better be able to work out what went wrong. You will need to make the relationship stronger so that a break up doesn't happen again. By doing this, you will be starting over fresh and with a clear mind. Fix the mistakes that you made so that you don't make them again.

In conclusion, just because you were saying that "I still love my ex", please don't rush and do anything silly or that you will regret. Let the relationship take on a natural course and then by seeking help, you will get it going in the right direction. If you work on it together, you will soon be saying that "I'm in love with my ex again", instead of "I still love my ex, what should I do?"

Want Ex Back? Change What Went Bad

2009-05-21T14:26:00.003-04:00

After a break up it may seem only natural to move on to other people. You start dating someone else, but it doesn't work out and then you find that you are thinking about your ex. You are constantly thinking that you want ex back. If you find yourself in this situation and you don't know what to do, here are 5 things you should do.

First, stop dating other people. If you are in another relationship you cannot dedicate yourself completely to get ex back. All of your energy will be put into the new relationship and you won't be able to focus on what you really want. Do not flirt, date or heaven forbid, sleep with anyone else.

Second, do not obsess over your ex constantly sending emails, text messages, calling at every hour of the day and night or stalk them. Make them treat you with respect. If you treat yourself well, it's only natural that they will repect you and look up to you. If you do this, your chance that you will get back with ex are much greater.

Third, make a list of all the good things you remember about your ex. Really spend some time on thinking about what you appreciate about them. Sometimes when a break up happens, we tend to accuse one another and we dwell instead on all the bad things about the relationship. Concentrate instead on all the things that made you happy.

Fourth, don't repeat the relationship. Make it new and different. The worst thing you can do is get into all the old habits and fall into a rut again. Try new things together. Go to a new place to eat, try a new hobby or take up a class together. Try living seperately if you lived together before. If you were engaged, go back to dating. Do not force the relationship.

Last, share what you want out of life. Make this a joint venture. If you play a role in eachothers lives and can visualize what you want it to be, you will have created a map of your life together.
If you really want ex back then you need to work at making it possible.

How To Get Your Lover Back In Love With You

2009-05-18T14:25:00.004-04:00

At the beginning of a relationship everything always seems so wonderful and exciting. This is the time when you both feel the most romance and are often thinking if he/she is "the one". Everything seems so perfect. The bad thing is, this part usually doesn't last long enough. The romance fades and that wonderful feeling is left on the back burner. Then you both begin to wonder, "how to get your lover back in love with you?"

Sometimes the relationship becomes somewhat of a dissappointment and is no longer so ideal. You start to realize it's not as perfect as you thought it was. Sometimes this happens years later and is the reason that some marriages and long term relationships start to experience some trouble along the way. This could come in the form of cheating which could lead to a break up or even divorce.

If you are one of those that doesn't want to break up or get a divorce or this is something that is quite recent, you should try to seek help. Try to find someone that has been through a similar situation or knows how to relight the spark that was once there. Try asking how to get your lover back in love with you. Some likely answers might be to go away together, remember old times or communicate with eachother more.

Going Away Together
Taking a trip together can be a great way to rekindle the bond that brought you both together. You might try going to a special spot that you've been to already where you felt very romantic. This is a terrific first step in figuring out how to get your lover back in love with you.

Remember Old Times
Thinking about the way things used to be and remembering all the good times could be just what the two of you need. Play a favorite song or movie that you both love. Revisit a special place that you both used to hang out at such as a restaurant or museum.

Communicate With Eachother
Avoid confrontation when talking with your lover. Don't talk about what went wrong or be accusing. Talk about nuetral things such as how your day was or things of interest like what your partner loves to do. Try to ask questions that give you more than a yes or no answer.

There are many more things that you could do but one thing that will really help is just breaking up the routine. The key to making these plans work is to make them seem like spontaneous events. Make the road trip together random. “Stumble upon” the old music or movie and just start playing it. “Accidentally” open a box that has some old memorabilia that will spark a conversation about the old times. The key to finding out how to get your lover back in love with you comes with putting things in place for the two of you to “fall in love” again.

Can You and Your Ex Get Back Together?

2009-03-16T15:29:00.001-04:00

If you are thinking "can you and your ex get back together" you need to trully think about why you want to get back together and if it's the best thing for both of you. You will need to make the decision whether getting back together will be the best thing for both of you. Something made you go your seperate ways and if there is a chance at reconciling the relationship, you don't want to go through the pain of breaking up a second time.

For the good of everybody, some relationships just aren't worth saving. An abusive relationship, either physical or verbal, is not a healthy one and should probably not be saved. The same goes for any relationship where one person is not mentally stable. If you did nothing but argue and never had any fun or never seemed to be happy, then that too, is grounds for moving on. A relationship that wasn't any of these things though, has a good chance of a possible reconciliation and would get a positive answer to the question, "can you and your ex get back together".

If you are thinking of getting back together with your ex, do not start to nag them or push them into being with you. Constantly trying to contact them will only result in them going further and further away from you. You will come across as desperate and this is the last thing you want to do.

Also do not dwell on what happened in the past. Let it go and only dwell on the present. You can't change what happened and if you are constantly thinking about what you could have done differently, then you will never accomplish what you want to do now and that is to start over and renew your relationship.

What you should do is to give them some time to sort things out and back off a bit. By doing that, you will give your ex a chance to actually miss you and to want to come back to you. By giving them a bit of space and getting on with your life, you will become a more attractive person. Pursue some long forgotten interests and you will also being doing yourself some good too. This is a great start and will get you on the way to reconciling your relationship.

So, Can you and your ex get back together? It will still depend on a mutual agreement between the both of you, but your chances are greater if you followed this advice.

How To Get My Ex Back When He's Moved On

2009-03-03T14:30:00.001-05:00

If you have recently broken up with your boyfriend, and need help on "how to get my ex back when he's moved on"? please don't sit around and feel sorry for yourself. Just because you have broke up does not mean it's permanent. Here are some suggestions on how to get your ex back even if he has moved on to another woman and it looks like he wants nothing to do with you.

1 - One of the first things to do to try to get him to come back is to find a way to make him think that he wants to get back with you and that you are the person of his dreams. Unless he has said in no uncertain terms that he doesn' want you back, there are a couple things you can try.

2 - A really good strategy at this point is to be a really good friend to him. Show him that you understand him and can be a friend around him without falling apart. If there is no stress and drama left, then he may realize that he wants to be with you again.

3 - When you are talking with him, try to be as kind and sweet as you can, but leave a little bit of attitude on the table so that he gets a taste of wanting you back, but he needs to know that he can't have you yet. This will keep him interested, although we don't want to play games.

4 - At this point you want to go out with friends, but also let him know that you are available. We don't want him thinking that he can't have you. Create a bit of jealousy, but be careful that you don't overdo it or this could backfire. You just want to keep him motivated to want you back and pursue the situation. We don't want him to give up.

5 - Please avoid acting desperate, because we want him to know that you are fine with everything that has happened and if need be, you will move on. Play it cool. Acting desperate will only push him farther away and lessen your chances of getting your ex back when he's moved on with someone else.

6 - If you are in the same company and he happens to glance at you, give him a look out of the corner of your eye. This will let him know you are paying attention to him, but also lets him know he can't have you yet.

7 - When in conversation with him, gently bring up the good times you had together. Remind him that when you were with him it was one of the great times in your life. Avoid bringing up any bad memories or you will make him feel he is under attack. This will undo all you are trying to accomplish.

These are only the baby steps to try and get your ex back when he's moved on. If you have lost the love of your life and want to get him back, you need to read "The Magic of Making Up" by T 'Dub' Jackson. They are simple, down to earth tips on winning back the one you love. I wish you the best of luck in mending your broken relationship.

What Should I Do To Get My Ex Back - Two Simple Steps To Improve Your Chances

2009-02-21T16:43:00.001-05:00

If you are going through a breakup, you know there is alot of pain and hurt involved. You may have feelings of depression and are missing them alot. You are probably asking yourself, "What should I do to get my ex back?"

There are so many different places to get advice. You can ask friends or relatives, visit websites, forums and read books about breaking up. All of these try to offer a solution to those who are asking, what should I do to get my ex back? Although these are all good places to go to, sometimes it's best to rely on plain old common sense and give your ex the courtesy they deserve. After all they were the love of your life, and if you want to stand a chance of getting them back, you need to give them the respect they deserve. This can go a long way towards possibly getting them back and begin to heal your relationship.

If you really want to stand a chance of getting back together with your ex and stop wondering what should I do to get my ex back, then listen to the following advice. At least it will give you the best possibility of achiving your goal.

Rule #1

Stop playing games. Do not manipulate people's emotions. Although this may be something that you feel like doing because you have been hurt, playing games only makes the situation worse. Being deceteful and dishonest may make you feel in control for a short period of time, but will eventually make you feel bitter and angry and will drive your ex farther away. Do not pretend to be in love with someone else in order to make your ex jealous. Doing this could cause one of two things: either they will be so jealous that they want you back or they may be so hurt because they think you really didn't care about them if you have moved on so quickly. Lots of times this will backfire and you will never have a chance at getting your ex back.

Rule #2

Don’t resort to being mean. You may be angry at your ex and sometimes this may cause you to be down right mean to them. Breakups hurt and we tend to do and say things that we would never have thought we were capable of doing. The thing is, if you are even thinking about the question, "What should I do to get my ex back?" then you are wanting to resolve the relationship, not end it. If you weren't asking yourself that question, then you would have been glad the relationship was over.

Try to put yourself in your ex's shoes and take a look at how you've been acting. If you have been doing nothing but yell and nag, would they want to come back to you? Would they dread even being near you? You need to work on really controlling your emotions and become someone that your ex is going to miss, not hate. By behaving in a way that pleases your ex, you will make them remember the good times you had and what made them like you in the first place.

These are just two of the rules you need to follow if you have been asking, "what should I do to get my ex back?" They are just the beginning and if you want to know a real step by step plan on how to get your ex back visit: The Magic of Making Up

What Can I Do To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back?

2009-02-14T12:48:00.002-05:00

Following a breakup, most people ask themselves - "What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back". They begin thinking and pondering about everything that they could have done differently. They start composing apology letters and think about other means that might help them get their relationship back.

This usually leads to a dead end road because sometimes it's hard to tell what the real reasons were behind a breakup. Women tend to become emotional and have a hard time even knowing what caused the break up in the first place. They might not even understand the feelings that are accumulating inside and this can cause you to concentrate all your energy into trying to figure out what went wrong and will only cause more harm than good.

The first thing to do if you are wondering "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back" is to forget about the relationship for a while. Put your energy into something else. Forget about women in general, and go out, make friends, and have fun. When meeting new people, set some realistic goals. Give yourself some time to make changes in your life. By giving yourself a couple months off, it will work wonders.

By giving yourself a few months away from your ex, it will allow you to make gradual changes in your life. You will have a better perception about relationships in general and a better understanding of what you want to do about your ex. You can ask yourself some questions - Do you still want to get back together? Or do you want to move on? If you are feeling like you want to get back together with her, then you need to find out how she is feeling about you.

You need to be honest and direct, but do not go begging to get back with her. Do not start getting emotional, you need to play this the right way. Since you have been apart for awhile, she is probably missing you too. You will need to play hard to get, but don't over do it. You need to let her know that everything is going fine without her, so hopefully she will start to rethink things through.

If you play it cool and take it real slow, you should be able to really see if your relationship was meant to be. Do not over analyze the situation, because this could prevent you from doing what's right when you are trying to figure out "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back".

What Can I Do To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

2009-02-13T09:10:00.000-05:00

If you have been asking yourself, "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back" and are clueless as to what to do, then you have come to the right place. If you feel that everything you have been trying to do has only pushed your ex further away, then the following tips will improve your chances greatly of getting back together with your ex boyfriend.

If you are serious about getting back together with your ex and saving your relationship, listen to what I say. It is natural to feel anxious and want to rush on over and try to mend this right away, but this kind of behavior only makes things worse and could cause your ex to resist any pressure to get back together and push him further away. It is only natural for him to want to push away if you do that and it could make matters much worse.

Are you calling your ex too much, constantly writing him e-mails or text messaging him? Are you trying to make him feel sorry for you? If you are doing these things, stop! If you are asking yourself "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back", then you need to stop doing these things right now.

So What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back? Follow this strategy instead. I want you to take a whole new approach and break off contact with your ex boyfriend. I want you to do your own thing. During this time where there is no communication between you and your ex boyfriend, you can focus on ways that you can improve your own personal life, rather than focusing on the relationship issues at hand. This is going to be a challenging time, and it is going to require discipline to prevent you from returning to your old ways.

While you are out focusing on yourself, instead of smothering him, your ex will most likely begin a shift in the way he feels about you. Because he is not sure what you are doing or feeling, you may become mysterious to him in some ways. This is actually something that can work in your favor. Now your ex is in a position to actually miss you, which is not possible when you are smothering him.

You must remember that the key to this strategy and repairing a break up is to work with human nature rather than attempting to work against it. If you are wondering "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back", now you should have a fairly basic understanding on how common mistakes can be avoided. Once you implement this basic strategy you can restore a balance and allow your ex to remember why he loved you in the first place.

Just keep yourself grounded and avoid smothering him. Make yourself appear mysterious and he will be reminded why he loved you in the first place. Play hard to get (don't over do it) and let him make the first move, and you will come out on top. And then you will stop asking "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back".